I am what I am....

"I am not this introspective but for some days my friends have been very complaining about my attitude..... so I just decieded to pen down a few thoughts..."

I was born premature and most of my close ones feel I am immature. :(
My mom says I am not well-behaved and my dad says I am enigmatic...
Nothing influences me and nobody inspires me..
That always leads me to believe that nobody is wrong and empathy is the best medicine to mediate indifferences.

My parents have always been annoyed with my "i dont't give a damm attitude", my casual lifestyle and my propensity to indulge in so-called antisocial activities.

I still remember the moments when I said to my mom "marriage is a bad investment, live-together is better,there are no liabilities",
when she got hold of my personal diaries and slambooks, knew everything I indulged into in college and i responded 'how dare you peek into my personal stuffs',
when she caught me red-handed smoking a cigarette and I said blatantly said 'don't intervene into my life'

She cried that entire night in silence and I failed to understand how she felt.
She always complain what a bad mother she has been and it has been inadequacy on her part that I have turned into such a human being.....

When I retrospect things,I don't feel justified....
Is it a crime not to follow something which is believed to be a norm of the society?
Is it wrong to say something what my heart says?
Is is wrong to laugh when others cry?
Is it incorrect to lead a very indifferent and independent life with out worrying too much about what others think about you?
Is it really very important to be a part of the mass and follow what the society wants?

for once,i can't be game for this....

My friends have always asked me about my love life and why am I so ambiguous about fairer sex?..... but for once they can't understand that I am too complicated and it will take my 'someone special' a lot of understanding to comprehend me.....

cheers
jishu